Their 793rd Anniversary
by jyvonne13
Summary: In the episode "Birthday Wish" Cosmo admits that he faked a coma because he forgot his and Wanda's 793rd anniversary. What really happened that day? What lengths did Cosmo go through to keep up the charade? And what happens when Wanda finally finds out?
1. Part 1: The Anniversary

Part 1: The Anniversary

" _Cosmo help!" Wanda shouted._

 _A muscular Cosmo dressed as superman flew to the top of the Fairy Tower after hearing Wanda screaming in fear. He gasped when he saw her tied up and being held hostage by none other than Juandissimo who was dressed as Lex Luther and had devil horns._

 _Normally he would have been afraid. They were at the top of the thousand foot tall Fairy Tower and Juandissimo looked scary. But he wasn't afraid. The only thing on his mind was saving his wife._

" _Let my wife go you jerk!" Cosmo said to Juandissimo._

 _Juandissimo laughed evilly. "You'll never save her! Wanda will be mine!"_

 _Cosmo flew towards him at top speed and punched him square in the face sending him flying off the top of the Fairy Tower._

" _Curse you Cosmo!" Juandissimo shouted as he fell._

 _Cosmo flew over to Wanda and untied her._

" _My hero!" She said covering him in kisses._

The dream started to fade away but he didn't mind. He knew Wanda would be next to him to cover him in real kisses. He rolled over to kiss her. "Good morning honey…" He didn't feel anything next to him and opened his eyes. Sure enough Wanda wasn't there.

He was disappointed. He'd expected to wake up and have her there next to him and they'd kiss and cuddle and make love like they had every morning since they'd ended their last god parenting job a month ago.

Instead he would go find her, after all she would have told him if she was going out. He rubbed his eyes and dragged himself out of bed. He left the room and flew down their winding staircase. The first thing he noticed was an amazing smell coming from the kitchen. He followed it and when he got to the dining room he gasped.

The table was set up with candles and flowers. There were two plates of cheese omelets, his absolute favorite, on the table. Romantic music played on the stereo. There was a banner that read "Happy Anniversary!" Wanda was there in her pajamas lighting the last candle.

"Good morning honey!" She said. She flew over to him excitedly and placed a loving kiss on his lips. "Happy Anniversary!"

"Anniversary?" He said confused. Today was their anniversary? He poofed up a calendar behind her where she wouldn't see it and sure enough the day was marked as their anniversary. He suddenly began to panic. He couldn't let her know he had forgotten their anniversary. He poofed away the calendar. "Oh yeah! Of course! Um, happy anniversary baby!" He placed another kiss on her lips.

"I made your favorite breakfast," she said leading him over to the table.

"Ooh yummy!" He said suddenly forgetting that he forgot their anniversary. He sat at the table and started to dig in. "You make the best omelets Wanda!"

She giggled and sat in her seat. "I'm glad you like it sweetie." She poofed up a box. "I got you something."

Then he remembered that he forgot again. "Aw Wanda...you shouldn't have," he said hesitantly taking the gift. He took off the wrapping paper which was covered in monkeys and gasped when he saw what was inside. "Soul crusher 3!" He had wanted this video game for months. He threw his arms around her. "Wanda I love you!"

She kissed him back. "I love you too sweetie."

Then he realized he had nothing to give to her! He thought fast. There had to be something he could conjure up in five minutes. "I got you something too." _Hopefully. "_ I, um, I left it upstairs. I'll be right back."

He slowly flew to the door wondering what he was going to do. Then he got an idea: if he didn't have a gift, why not just make it so he didn't have to get one?

He suddenly stopped flying and made himself fall to the floor pretending to be passed out.

"Cosmo!" Wanda exclaimed worriedly. She flew over to him and held him in her arms. "Cosmo are you okay?! Speak to me honey!"

She was panicking, he could tell. He felt bad for worrying her, but he knew she was going to feel even worse when she found out he didn't have a gift because he forgot their 793rd anniversary.

"Oh no! What do I do?!" She said. She poofed up a phone and dialed 911. "My husband just passed out!" she shouted. "I don't know why! He just suddenly fell! You have to get over here!"

Sure enough in a few minutes he heard the sounds of EMT's coming into the house. He was then picked up and put on a stretcher and was rolled out of the house into an ambulance.

He'd never been in an ambulance and was extremely curious about what it looked like but he knew if he opened his eyes he would give himself away so he forced himself to be still. He knew Wanda was still by his side, he could feel her small, soft hands in his the entire ride to the hospital.

Finally the ambulance stopped and he was wheeled into the hospital.

"We're going to run a few tests on your husband," the doctor said to Wanda.

"Can I come in?" she begged. Cosmo could tell she had been crying. "I don't want to leave him alone."

"Sorry, procedure says you have to stay out here. We'll let you know when we're done."

Cosmo felt Wanda's hand leave his and he was suddenly worried. He had no idea what the doctors were going to do to him. What if they stuck him with needles or did surgery on him? But what would happen if he suddenly woke up and said nothing was wrong with him? Wanda would not only be mad at him for forgetting their anniversary, she would also be mad at him for lying. The last thing he ever wanted was to disappoint her so he forced himself to remain quiet and endure whatever the doctors did to him.

He then felt himself being moved again after they ended their procedures.

"What's wrong with him?" he heard Wanda say.

"He appears to be in a coma."

"Oh my god!" Wanda exclaimed. "What happened to him? He seemed to be fine this morning."

"We're not really sure. All his vitals are fine. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his brain...well, except one thing."

"What would that be?!" Wanda exclaimed.

"It appears that Cosmo is...stupid."

"Well I already knew that! Anything else?!"

"Nothing that we can deduce. We'll have to wait until he wakes up to see what happens. Until then we'll keep him in here and monitor his heart rate. A nurse will pop in periodically to check on him. You're welcome to stay with him."

The door closed as the doctors left and Wanda's hand returned to his. He could hear her sobbing next to him. Now he really felt bad. He didn't want Wanda to be sad. This was supposed to be a fun day and he had ruined it for her. He was tempted to wake up and let her know that he was okay. But suddenly the door opened again.

"Dana! Jeff!" Wanda said as their two best friends entered.

"We came as soon as we got your text," Jeff said.

"What happened to Cosmo?" Dana asked.

"I-I don't know," Wanda said through her tears. "I made him an anniversary breakfast and got him the video game Jeff helped me pick out. He was going to go upstairs to get my gift and he passed out...you don't think I did this, do you?"

"Oh Wanda, no! Of course not!" Dana said comfortingly. "There's no way you could have done anything to cause this. Jeff you were with Cosmo yesterday, did you notice anything wrong?"

"No, not at all," Jeff replied. "Wanda, Cosmo is going to be fine, don't you worry."

"Thanks guys," Wanda said with a sniff. "I wonder if I should call his mother."

Wait, what?

"Then she'll know you got married," Jeff pointed out. "You spent all this time making sure she would never find out."

"I know...but there could be something seriously wrong with him," Wanda said. "I would feel terrible keeping that from her."

"Do whatever you feel is best," Dana said.

No! he thought. Don't do it Wanda!

She could _not_ call his mother! Mama Cosma had no idea they'd been married 793 years. On their wedding day he told her he was going to get milk and went straight to the chapel to marry Wanda. He hadn't spoken to her since because he didn't want her to find out or she would find some way to end their marriage before it even got started. If his mother came here, not only would he have to face Wanda's disappointment, but he'd also have the wrath of his mother to deal with.

In his panic the heart rate monitor started beeping wildly.

"What's going on?!" Wanda said worriedly.

"Call the nurse!" Dana said.

The nurse was called and after some prodding she determined that nothing was wrong and left again.

"Still gonna call his mother?" Dana asked.

"Well...maybe later. If she finds out we're married things will get even worse."

Wanda, Dana, and Jeff spent some time in the room talking and between listening to their conversation, he was also trying to figure out what to do about the anniversary gift.

"How about we go get lunch?" Jeff said after a while.

"I don't want to leave him alone guys," Wanda said.

"It'll just be for a little while," Dana said. "Besides, I think you could use some air."

Cosmo heard the door close as they all left the room. As soon as they were gone he sat up and began to stretch, he felt stiff after laying still for so long.

The clock said it was now 2:00. He couldn't believe this was working. If he could just left them think he was in a coma for a few more hours, he will have missed the anniversary and could think of what he wanted to do about the gift later.

In fact he had an idea.

He poofed up his cell phone and began to call the local florist.

"How can I help you?" The woman on the other line said.

"Hi, I'd like to order two dozen of your biggest roses to be delivered to my house please."

"Certainly, what's your address?"

"225 Wand Drive," he replied.

"Thank you, those will arrive by the end of the day."

"Thanks!"

This was going so well. He didn't have to tell Wanda he forgot their anniversary and he had a gift for her.

Then the door opened.

Cosmo froze in the air as he was face to face with Jeff.

"What the…!"

"Shh!" Cosmo exclaimed as he flew over and put a hand over his friends mouth.

Jeff shut the door behind him and Cosmo removed his hand. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Okay, I know this looks bad…"

"So you've been okay this whole time?!"

"Please don't tell Wanda!"

Jeff crossed his arms. "Cosmo Cosma you've got _a lot_ of explaining to do."

"So I forgot our anniversary," Cosmo explained. "I didn't know what else to do."

"So you faked a coma?!"

"I didn't want Wanda to be mad."

"How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out?!"

"She's not going to find out because you're not going to tell her...right?"

Jeff crossed his arms. "I won't tell her...but I still think you're insane."

Cosmo gave him a hug. "Thanks Jeff!"

Jeff pushed him off. "Yeah, no need to get mushy. So how long do you plan to keep this up?"

"Just until tonight. That way Wanda won't know I forgot."

"Well you must be starving if you've been like this all day." Jeff reached into his bag of food. "Here, have some of my fries."

"Ooh yummy!" Cosmo didn't realize how hungry he was until now.

A few minutes later they heard voices in the hallway. Jeff peeked out the window and saw Wanda and Dana coming down the hallway. "Wanda's coming!"

Cosmo hopped back into the bed and lay down with his eyes closed just like he had been before. Seconds later he heard the door open.

"We were wondering where you went," Dana said.

"Just checking up on Cosmo," Jeff said innocently.

Cosmo felt Wanda's hand in his again. "He hasn't woken up at all?"

"Nope, not at all."

Wanda sighed. "I guess I'll have to cancel our reservation at Fairinis."

Cosmo nearly jumped out of the bed. He _loved_ Fairinis! They didn't go very often because it was so expensive but it was his favorite restaurant.

They all stayed for a little while but it started getting late.

"We're gonna head back home Wanda," Dana said.

"I understand, thank you for coming guys," Wanda said.

"Cosmo will be fine. I'm sure he'll be awake before you know it," Jeff said.

"I hope so."

Soon the nurse came back in. "Visiting hours are almost over."

"Please let me stay with him," Wanda said. "I really want to be here when he wakes up, especially since it's our anniversary."

The nurse hesitated for a moment. "Fine, just this once."

The door opened and closed again.

Cosmo figured it was time to wake up. He was getting sick of laying down and he wanted to get home so Wanda could see the flowers which were hopefully there.

He made a big show of opening his eyes. "Wanda."

She gasped. "Cosmo!" She gave him a big hug and kiss. "Are you okay honey? You gave me quite a scare!"

"I know snookie, I'm sorry. I feel great now though. How about we go home?"

"Well, how about we have the doctor look you over again just to make sure. You were in a coma after all. I don't want to have you pass out again."

The doctor came back and Cosmo let himself be checked over yet again.

"Hmm, that's odd. You seem perfectly fine."

"Well, um, maybe I healed really fast," Cosmo said nervously. "Fairies are notoriously fast healers you know?"

"That's true. But I'm still going to put you on an antibiotic just to be sure."

After that Cosmo and Wanda finally went home and sure enough there were huge bouquets of flowers on the front porch. Cosmo almost collapsed with relief to know that nothing had gone wrong.

"Wow, these are beautiful!" Wanda exclaimed.

"They're all for you honey," Cosmo said.

She threw her arms around him and kissed him. "Thank you Cosmo!"

He helped her take the flowers inside and she arranged them in vases.

The two sat down on the couch suddenly tired after such a long day.

"What should we do for the rest of the night?" Wanda asked. "I had a reservation for us but we already missed it."

"At Fairinis."

Wanda raised her eyebrows. "How'd you know that?"

He realized he was going to give himself away. "Um...lucky guess."

Wanda rested her head on his shoulder. "Oh well, we'll go another day."

He lifted her chin kissed her lips. "I know what we can do," he said with a sly look.

"What?"

He poofed them to their room and they were now sitting on the bed. Before Wanda knew what was happening he had her on her back and was kissing her neck. She let out a laugh as she held her husband close to her. Then she looked into his eyes seriously. "Are you sure you're well enough?"

"I promise I am honey," he replied. "After all, the doctor said I was perfectly fine."

She ran her fingers across his cheek affectionately. "Okay." She pulled him to her for another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too Wanda. Happy anniversary."


	2. Part 2: The Guilt

Part 2: The Guilt

Thousands of years later, Cosmo and Wanda were in Timmys bedroom dealing with their latest crisis of Timmy feeling guilty about not going to Tootie's birthday party.

"Why do I feel this way?" Timmy said in frustration.

"It's called guilt, sport," Wanda said.

"Guilt?"

"It's a magical emotion," Wanda said proofing up a flashlight.

She shined it on Cosmo and he began to panic. Every time she did this he started to feel guilty about something and more often than not confessed something he'd been trying to keep a secret from her. "No it's not! It eats away at you until...until…you just have to confess what you did!"

So many things started running through his mind. Like that time he dropped their wedding rings into Fairy Falls while she was asleep at the hotel. Or the time he ate the chocolate bunny Big Daddy got her for Easter and told her that their friend Binky ate it. But one thing in particular came to the forefront of his mind.

"I'm sorry Wanda! I did forget our 793rd anniversary! I was only pretending to be in a coma!"

Wanda looked at him in shock for a moment.

 _Seriously?_ she said through their telepathy link.

He nodded slowly. He had meant to take that one to the grave and now she knew and she was going to be mad.

Instead she turned back to Timmy. "See kiddo? It's magic that works on your heart."

Cosmo almost sighed with relief at being off the hook but then Wanda turned back to him.

 _I'll deal with you later._

Damn it, so he wasn't off the hook just yet.

After spending the day as Tootie's godparents per Timmy's request to deal with his guilt, they eventually attended a real birthday party for Tootie at Chucky Cheddars. While Timmy was at the party, Cosmo and Wanda sat nearby disguised as toys in the claw machine.

"You were faking that coma?!" Wanda said.

Cosmo had hoped she had forgotten after the events of the day. "Well...I'm sorry?"

She continued to glare at him expecting more of an explanation.

He sighed. "Alright so I forgot and I didn't want you to be mad so I faked the coma. I was fine the entire time. But I thought if I told you, you would be even more mad. So I told Jeff not to tell you…"

"So Jeff was in on it too?!"

"He gave me fries when he caught me ordering you the flowers while you were out of the room…" His voice trailed off when he saw Wanda looking at him with her eyes narrowed. "Look, I know it was wrong snookie. I should have just told you. But I just didn't want you to be sad. Please forgive me."

"Well I was really sad when I thought you were going to die," she said with a snort. But then her face softened and she cuddled closer to him. "But I guess it was very sweet too." She gave him a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too baby. I promise I'll never pretend to be in a coma again unless it's absolutely necessary.


End file.
